EP 3 - Better done than Perfect!

EP3 - calls out on all of us perfectionist out here 🙋🏽‍♀️ hehe! And how perfectionism is actually a form of self sabotage, plus how overcome it! ⁣

Talking points and takeaways:

• Perfectionism is a form of procrastination and self-sabotage.
• If you procrastinate you are robbing the world of your gifts by hiding behind the curtains. 
• We believe to be perfectionists because deep down we are people pleasers, and we are afraid of judgement and failure. But we are so much more worthy than that!
• Use triggers to take action more easily: For example - Better done than perfect! 
• Get out of your own way with the 5 second rule. It takes your mind 5 seconds to begin arguing with you (aka, for you to begin overthinking)  😉 So take action before your mind gets in your way. 
• When you take action, no matter what happens on the other side, you build confidence, because you prove to yourself that you can do it! 

Soul Rhythm Activation (Homework/Practice):

• What have you not done and put out there because it’s “not ready” or “not perfect”? Get clear on why accomplishing these goals are important for you. If they are still important to you, anchor in on that WHY and go do the thing! 
• Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and boom! Share it with the world! 
• BETTER DONE THAN PERFECT! 

Full Episode: Better done than Perfect! 

Hello, my loves! Today's topic is all about releasing perfectionism. So in the spirit of today's topic I've decided I'm just going to start recording and not overthink it and just do it first thing in the morning so I have less of a mental chatter. Which is actually a really good trick for you as well, because the truth is that in the morning, our minds are fresh so there's not so much holding us back. Let's just say that judgmental, perfectionist, side of you just isn't awake yet,  so you're just flowing. 

Ok, let's dive right into it! Can you think of a time that you were late on doing something or you didn't do it at all because you were so afraid it wasn't perfect enough?  

Be honest with yourself because I certainly have had millions of times where I recall taking longer than I should have on a project because it just needed to be perfect. So my motto for the last three years has been better done than perfect. Just throw it out there and then allow the world to respond. That's how we catch momentum. Sometimes I still revert back. And that's why it's important to understand that we are transforming and it's a journey and it takes time. So this phrase that I have, better done than perfect is my trigger. Whenever I'm starting to procrastinate or get into the nitty gritty of a project, that's when I think, all right, Carla, we're going to stop this. Stop the self judgment, stop the overthinking better done than perfect. Boom. Let's get it out and let's move on because something that is not completed and not put out there, it's almost like it never even happened. I can't tell you how many times I wrote things up, had things planned, then because I was so afraid of being seen and putting myself out there and being judged that I said, Oh, it's not ready. So with saying  it's not ready. I'm using this form of it needs to be perfect as an excuse for not putting myself out there because I'm a huge people pleaser and I was so afraid of judgment. I think every human being, except perhaps toddlers experienced this. So just be okay with that. The good news is that you get to choose whether you want to lean into that feeling of not wanting to feel judged or you can own the fact that you're really awesome. If you just put things out there, then you're going to start gaining momentum and you'll get the responses that you need. You're sharing your gift with the world finally, instead of making excuses. So honoring that part of you that feels afraid to be judged, because that part of you is your inner child and it needs to be cradled and understood, but then also choosing to say “no, no, no, I'm a way better than this. Better done than perfect. Let me just finish this, do the thing where it's completely done and then put it out there” don't overthink it.

Take the five second rule for instance, The five-second rule from Mel Robbins is basically that whenever you're hesitating on doing something, whether this is bungee jumping, and you just have to take the leap or whether its clicking submit or schedule on a piece of content. The five second rule States that you have five seconds before your brain starts arguing with you on whether you are safe to move on or not. Because remember our brains are there to protect us, fear is meant to protect us. Let's talk about the bungee jumping piece. All you have to do is jump off.  If you were on the floor, you just want to hop from one place to the other. That's exactly what you need to do. Not very difficult at all, but it's the feeling of what's going to happen once I start falling. So counting  five, four, three, two, one, and getting up right before the one is the trick, or clicking send, and not overthinking it. 

The five second rule is amazing for avoiding  hitting this new mountain and actually moving forward and putting things out there and avoiding that perfectionist, people pleaser, super afraid of judging, and just say five, four, three, two, one, then just wait and be proud of yourself for actually doing the thing. Because it’s through action that we change our beliefs. Now you're no longer that perfectionist/ procrastinator, you did it, You put it out there, you jumped. 

In order to progress and move forward and succeed,and increase your confidence, you have to prove to yourself that you are capable. If you are procrastinating via saying it's not ready, it's not perfect enough, You're not putting it out there. Therefore you start to actually believe it. you are making an excuse to not fail or not succeed. And through this, you're staying stagnant because your mind doesn't know if you're capable of succeeding and you're not learning from actually putting things out there. So if you think back to, let's say last year, Can you think of projects that did not come through? Projects that you didn't finish because you weren't ready or because it wasn't ready or because it wasn't perfect. I want you to dig those up, dust them off and ask yourself, are these important to me? And why are they important to me? Because if these are important to you and  they are the next step, that next leap, then I encourage you to anchor in on that. And then do it because it is better done than perfect. And once you're doing it, you will start gaining momentum. You will start feeling more confident. You will expand your capacity because now you're not a hermit. That's stuck in this thought of, Oh, it's not, I'm not perfect. I'm not enough. I'm not doing enough. It's not ready. See how all these excuses just like, keep us bottled in? 

I think definitely people pleasing tendencies, as well as fear of judgment are most of our biggest stoppers. Seriously. How many times have you not done something? I'll give you an example of me. I am deathly afraid of  karaoke singing, and I've done it, but it's a super growth zone/ dangerous zone. Then I think too, why am I so afraid? All I have to do is pick up a microphone, sing, and have fun. What is so scary about that yet? So I'm working through that and breaking it down and slowly building that confidence by singing in front of my friends, a small group, and then building it back up like that.I can't believe I shared that with you. I'm pretty sure a lot of you are going to message me about it and say we need to go karaoke because I already have a lot of friends that are pushing me on that. That's actually a really good way to move past this feeling of not ready, not perfect. Having an accountability partner because this person, your people pleasing tendencies are going to help you actually do the thing because you want to please your accountability partner. How crazy is that? We need to shift that paradigm, but we first have to work with what we have. So if you are motivated by making people happy and making people proud of you, having an accountability partner is super helpful in this realm. 

So let’s sum it up, We want to make sure that we're not using perfectionism as an excuse for not doing things. And then dig up that list of things, of everything that you've been avoiding, everything that you've been putting on the back burner, that actually is super important to you, but haven't done because you're so afraid of doing the thing. You're so afraid of being judged, of it not being good enough or ready or whatever it is, because once you do it, you put it out there, no matter what happens on the other side, which is things that you can't control, you did the thing and because you did it, you're going to feel so much better about yourself. I guarantee it. I promise you. So if you need to take a friend, somebody that you truly trust and tell them why you need them as an accountability partner and be honest with them and tell them your goal, set a date and actually do the thing.

XX,

Carla Marconi - @carla11marconi  

Holistic Business Coach || Mindset & NLP Expert 

Breathwork & Yoga Facilitator || Hypnotherapist